


two chaos entities (don't) make a friendship

by sunflowershayne



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Smosh
Genre: 5+1 Things, Bonding, Chaos Sha(y)nes Unite, Crossover, Dead by Daylight - Freeform, Developing Friendships, Enemies to Friends, Gen, YouTube, shaymien can be read platonically or romantically whichever you prefer, there's like. implied shaymien
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-01-12 03:16:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowershayne/pseuds/sunflowershayne
Summary: shayne and shane seemed like they'd hit it off - they have two of the most chaotic energies that damien and ryan had ever seen, and they were pretty similar outside of that energy too. so why the hell didn't they?or: 5 times shayne topp and shane madej were forced to hang out, and 1 time they weren't.





	two chaos entities (don't) make a friendship

1.

This certainly wasn't the first time Shayne had been to a YouTube event -- he tried to go as often as he could, but it was getting harder and harder with filming The Goldbergs. This time it was smaller, and Damien had offered to go with him so that he wouldn't be alone in a sea of beauty gurus and conspiracy theorists.

It was basically a medium-sized get-together of YouTubers to celebrate the return of Smosh after getting rescued from the depths of Hell by their tall saviors, Rhett and Link, and the people over at Mythical Entertainment. People from all walks of life had showed up, even some people that Shayne didn't even recognize, but could picture posting photoshopped ass shots on Instagram. A lot of tanned skin, bleached or colored hair, and big bright smiles. While Shayne himself looked fairly typical among the crowd, he certainly didn't feel like he was, as he clung to the wall with a Red Solo cup full of water in his hand.

He watched as Damien talked with some other YouTubers; he could only really make out MatPat in the dim lighting of the party. Damien was definitely more of a mingling type of guy, he liked to get to know people. It helped that he was a voice actor though, and that people had more than likely heard his voice at least once. He was currently fervently talking to someone that was about Shayne's height, and muscular, wearing basketball shorts and a nice pair of sneakers.

"Well, at least Ryan's having a fun time," a voice said, close to Shayne. The sudden sound made him jump a little, and he clung to the wall even more.

"W-Who?" he asked, trying to keep his breathing regular so that he wouldn't sound like he was in the middle of a panic attack while everyone else was dancing to Major Lazer. Definitely not the worst music to be dissociating and/or panicking to, but certainly not one of the better known styles for that kind of emotional breakdown.

When Shayne turned his head, he came to eye contact with the guy's shoulders. He craned his neck upward and finally got to see the face of the person next to him. Jesus Christ, why was everyone so tall? And how the fuck had he been so sneaky while being a sentient cornstalk with a face?

The taller guy pointed over to where Damien was standing. At first, Shayne was going to point out that he had said the wrong name, it's actually "Damien Haas," people get it confused all the time. But then he remembered that there was another guy there talking to him. Maybe that was Ryan?

Shayne looked back to the guy beside him and said, "Oh, he's talking to my friend."

The giant's eyebrows raised. "Well now, that's a funny chance of fate, isn't it?" he asked, letting out a chuckle. He seemed friendly enough, which was weird to Shayne. Normally, people that are willing to talk to others like this so easily don't usually hug the wall like this.

He nodded, unsure of how else to respond to the question, or if he even should respond at all. After all, it could've been a rhetorical question. Or maybe he was just being polite? Or maybe he was expecting a verbal yes or no here. God, social interaction is hard when you're a socially awkward bastard that turns into a bored teenager whenever someone tries to have a conversation about something they're personally interested in with him. ("Uh huh, yeah, that's so cool, wow, really? Awesome!")

"My name's Shane Madej. Perhaps you've heard of me." The taller man, somehow named Shane, in an extraordinarily uncanny and also fucking intimidating turn of fate, extended a hand, gripping his own Red Solo cup in the other.

Shayne returned, grasping Shane's hand. "Shayne Topp. Can't say that I recall off the top of my head."

Jesus, Shane had a good grip. If it weren't for the fact that he was basically just a fleshy Wacky Waving Arm Inflatable Tube Man, he could've cramped Shayne's hand up with that handshake. He let out another laugh, jovial in tone. Kind of like a "ho ho ho" but with a fair bit of wheezing, like an asthmatic Santa Claus.

"And there it is! That's fate, baby! Well, I can't really say that, though. I don't believe in fate. Coincidence, perhaps. So, you're one of the squad at Smosh, right?"

Well now Shayne just felt like an asshole because he couldn't recognize Shane. He should've brushed up on his knowledge of YouTubers before this happened. God, why is conversation so hard?

He weighed his options. On the one hand, he could be really enthusiastic about it and scare him off. On the other hand, he could be casual and make Shane think he was being conceited. On the third, strange, should not be there but is, hand, he could be a mixture.

He settled for a strained smile and a nod. "Yep, that's me. What do you do?"

"Oh, I hunt ghosts."

That was definitely the wrong time to take a sip of water.

Shane seemed to notice that Shayne was now choking, and he backpedaled. "I should've given context to that. Um, I work with Ryan. We're Buzzfeed Unsolved. Well, not JUST us, there's a production crew and everything, but. We're the onscreen guys. And a second addition, I don't hunt ghosts, because ghosts don't exist."

Hearing Buzzfeed, and remembering all the times that Smosh had offhandedly made fun of them, Shayne let out a scoff and said, "Oh, you work for THEM, huh?"

That seemed to be a joke that Shane didn't appreciate very much, because he went silent for a bit, something that he hadn't done since he approached Shayne while he was hugging the wall. He just let out a halfhearted "yeah" and then took a sip from his cup, which was probably half-full of alcohol since he wasn't like Shayne and probably could stand the taste.

So, at least Shayne now knew how to end conversations with tall dudes with the same name as him. That was a skill he had now.

More and more things he could've said to have not offended him ran through Shayne's head until Damien approached him and asked him if he was okay. And the shitty thing was, that he lied about it and said that he was. And he saw Ryan walk over to Shane and ask him the same thing.

The even MORE shitty part was that Shane was lying, too.

* * *

2. 

The next time that Shayne heard mention of Shane Madej was when Damien said that they were going to VidCon and that he wanted to talk to Ryan again. Apparently they had gotten along pretty well, which was great for them, and not so great for Shayne. He had had a nightmare about that conversation that ended in Shane becoming a demon and murdering him in his sleep at least three times since their first meeting. (Admittedly, it was a really fucking weird dream to have, but a real one that his dumb brain had conjured up in his R.E.M. sleep nonetheless.)

Shayne let out the usual awkward agreement, "Sure, yeah, sounds awesome, cool, uh huh," trying his best not to let Damien know that he and the other Shane had a feud because he had insulted his job and also his honor indirectly through the use of insulting his job.

Damien was happy, and that made Shayne happy, at least for a while, until VidCon crept up on him and he was forced to go through with that promise.

Shayne and Damien branched off of the rest of the squad and the Smosh Games squad, and traveled across hallways and floors searching for a freakishly tall man who wasn't Rhett or Link. Damien actually grabbed Shayne's hand and dragged him along at certain moments, because Shayne was unconsciously dragging his feet.

Finally, it was Shayne that saw him in the crowd, and he nudged Damien with his elbow to let him know that he'd spotted him.

Damien then proceeded to raise a hand and wave it, yelling (but really compared to the rest of the hustle and bustle of the crowds surrounding them, it was kind of just like a whisper) "HEY, GHOUL BOYS!" And within a couple of minutes, the sea of people had parted enough so that Damien and Shayne could squeeze through with minimal "excuse me"s and "sorry"s.

Naturally, Damien was a saint to them, which, of course he was, he had already been acquainted with Ryan, and was the type of person that was pretty well-suited to talking to people like Shane. But Shayne was a different story. He extended a hand and a friendly smile with Ryan, and then when he looked up at Shane, he cleared his throat and awkwardly tried to fist bump him. Which resulted in a hilariously terrible situation in which Shane just kind of gripped Shayne's closed fist and shook it. The embarrassment almost threatened to overtake him, but he laughed it off.

"You've still got that firm grip from before," he quipped, unclenching his fist. This situation was kind of like a bomb, in which Damien was an expert at defusing, but Shayne was just a random pedestrian that Damien enlisted to do the grunt work for him, and Shayne is also colorblind so when Damien says to cut the blue wire he has to respond with "which one is the blue one" and then it becomes a screaming match until they blow up in a giant mushroom cloud of social anxiety and the aloneness that Shayne is destined to feel for the rest of his days on Earth.

Shane seemed to roll with the punches though, retorting with, "I've been workin' on it, actually."

Damien looked at Shayne and asked, "Wait, you two know each other already, too?"

Luckily, Shane intervened and answered before Shayne could, because Shayne would've probably mucked it up and made the entire thing even worse. "Yeah, we met while you were talking to each other at the Mythical party a couple months back."

Ryan let out a wheeze, an iteration of one of the many iconic wheezes that were now immortalized on the internet. "Ah yes, the wallhugger finally made a friend. I'm so proud I could almost shed a tear."

Damien raised his eyebrows and looked at Shayne. His entire expression was basically asking him why he hadn't mentioned that before, but Shayne gave him a look back that hopefully conveyed that it was a long story and there was a very good reason why Shayne didn't want to tell it to him.

He looked back at Shane and Ryan, and, in the smooth conversationalist manner that Damien naturally had, asked, "So, are you two aware that you're both named Shane in some manner of spelling?"

"Yes, we both talked about that," Shane answered, casually. It was almost like he didn't remember Shayne basically spitting on the image of his employer, which was almost comforting if not for the fact that Shayne was paranoid that he would take an absolutely brutal chance to retaliate by shitting on Smosh at some point during the conversation.

Shayne turned to the other, clearing his throat in an attempt to say something that would patch things over, and they could have a better start. "And how do you spell your name, Shane?"

"S-H-A-N-E, the normal way. Why?"

"Ah. So you're an inferior Shane."

Damien elbowed him in the ribs for that. Shayne let out a tiny "ow" that was filled with the remorse and regret he now felt after having said something so insulting. First he insulted the man's place of work, and now he was insulting the spelling of his name, which, by societal standards, was the normal way of spelling it.

Shane didn't seem too fazed, but the seed of insult was already planted, and Shayne feared getting to see it bloom into a beautiful, murderous flower a la Audrey II.

The rest of the conversation was all a buzz in Shayne's head. He spoke when spoken to, answered questions, and casually grabbed onto Damien's hand maybe once or twice just for reassurance that he was still alive and that the conversation wasn't completely tanking.

When Damien had said goodbye to the Unsolved Ghoul Boys, he looked at Shayne with absolute confusion and almost profound concern. "What's up, man? You're acting real weird. I mean, I know you're introverted, but this is a bit much, don't you think?"

And after they were out of earshot of potential fans, Shayne told him what was up, and he appreciated it when Damien did his best not to cringe.

* * *

3.

The next time that Shayne had to dread meeting Shane was about a month later, when Ryan contacted Damien and asked him if he and Shayne wanted to be a part of the dramatization during one of their True Crime episodes. Damien was ecstatic for the opportunity, but he immediately went to Shayne afterward.

"If you don't want to do this, then I'll call Ryan back and say that we can't do it. I know that it's been awkward between you and Shane."

Shayne shrugged. On the one hand, he hated the idea of talking to Shane Madej again. He was already dreading every single possibility for conversation, and just the thought of fucking things up again made his skin crawl. He could imagine it right now...

_INT. Buzzfeed Unsolved Studio, Late Afternoon._

SHAYNE: Hi.

SHANE: Fuck you.

SHAYNE: Okay.

_End Scene._

On the other hand, however, he saw how happy Damien was. Seeing how excited Damien was for the chance to collaborate with some other creators made Shayne's heart swell a little. Plus, he got along with Ryan just fine, so theoretically, he wouldn't even have to talk to Shane, right? It would just be a job for them, where they were either murder victims or mobsters, and they would barely have to interact with the other two. Win win.

So he said, "No, let's do it!" He was trying so hard to sound excited that he thought he may have overdone it. Lucky for him, though, Damien didn't seem to realize that his voice had cracked like a 13-year-old boy's when he spoke.

Cut to a week or so later, and Damien and Shayne were now in the studio at Buzzfeed.

They had a really nice studio, Shayne had to admit. And everyone that works there seemed to be happy, even if their grins are just plastered-on smiles for the guests. Shayne immediately remembered all of the sketches and short videos they did mocking Buzzfeed, and, just as immediately, he felt a pang of guilt.

Damien grabbed Shayne's hand, and he hoped that Damien wouldn't notice how sweaty it was. If he did, he just didn't say anything about it, and Shayne was grateful.

There was something comforting about the way that Damien would be willing to initiate touch. He was the one that started the #BroNuzzle, and he was almost always the one initiating hugs and reaching for Shayne's hand. Knowing that Damien wasn't really that into touching others without them asking first, it was almost a relief to know that he was comfortable enough with Shayne to be the one going out of his way to make contact.

His thoughts were interrupted when he came face to face with Ryan Bergara, smiling at the two of them. Damien's hand left Shayne's and fist-bumped Ryan's.

"Hey! Welcome to Casa de Ghoul Boys. So, this is the case of the Wych Elm. You two are gonna be half of the poaching squad that discovers Bella's skull. The other half is gonna be Steven and Andrew. You've probably seen their show, right?" Ryan immediately dropped that exposition, and Shayne was almost concussed by the amount of information that was coming at him within such a short amount of time.

Damien nodded. "The Worth It boys, right?"

Shayne, ever the entertainer, awkwardly pushed out a joke. "I wonder if they're gonna try and compare the skull to one in Tokyo that costs $5 million."

The karma for his quip came swiftly as Shane Madej, from out of the shadows seemingly, stepped next to Ryan and said, "You do realize that's not all they do, right?"

Shayne's eyes went wide and he started choking on air. Jesus Christ, he really had a knack for fucking up scenarios where he could potentially make an actual friend other than the people at Smosh, huh?

"W-Well, yeah, but th-that's just... what they're, y'know, KNOWN for."

After that weak justification, he closed his mouth and looked down at the ground, taking a silent, secret vow in his mind to never, ever speak in a social setting again. Especially during a social event where the two guys that work at Buzzfeed Unsolved are also there.

Maybe he should just say "fuck it" and become a Tibetian monk.

* * *

4. 

The video was uploaded, and the fanbase for both Smosh and BFU really seemed to enjoy the crossover. Ryan and Damien in particular talked about how they were excited that their demographics were starting to cross over. Damien had seemed to be incredibly passionate about this project in particular, and Shayne had just smiled and nodded along, hoping that Damien had completely forgotten how he blew it while they were shooting.

"Hey, do you two want to work together again? I think it'd be fun for us to play a horror game together," Damien said, while on a video call with Ryan.

He had never mentioned that with Shayne before, so hearing that made his heart leap into his throat. After all, this would mean that he would have to interact with Shane Madej again. And he was sure that he had fucked up that particular budding friendship three times over by this point.

Despite him visibly dropping his jaw and shaking, Damien didn't pick up on his body language, and looked eagerly at Ryan's face on his screen as it lit up. "Oh, hell yeah. I want to prove to the world that I'm not just a scared crybaby."

Damien did a victory dance, and Shayne heard Ryan's voice echo a bit as he said, "Shane! We're gonna collab with Shayne and Damien again! On Smosh Games!"

Shayne, for reasons unbeknownst to him or any other being except for the (clearly drunk) driver in his mind, got closer to Damien and stared at the screen, his eyes tracking Shane as he did the same thing. "Oh, that's neato! Are we gonna play that weird Slender game that everyone was talking about? They made a really bad movie about it, I think?"

Before he could think, Shayne opened his mouth, which was a total dumbass move on his part, if he did say so himself. "That game's like 100 years old now. We're big boys. We play modern games. We shit our pants to next-gen graphics."

He closed his eyes, bracing for the inevitable call-out from Shane, but... it didn't come.

Instead, Shane just started laughing. "Well, I've never been one to follow the horror game scene. You two'll have to recommend some stuff for us to look into and maybe play. We'll letcha know, how does that sound?"

Shayne opened his eyes. Oh fuck! He had just successfully interacted with another human being, and one that he was almost 100% certain hated him to boot! This was a cause of major celebration! He would be popping the LARGEST of bottles at his crib tonight. He made a mental note to scream happily at home (and scare his neighbors again, probably) but continued to talk.

"Yeah, that can be arranged. Me and Dames'll pick out the best stuff for the Ghoul Boys."

"Nothing too scary, though. Ryan's poor little heart couldn't take it. He's like a hummingbird, y'know. That thing pumps at like, 100 miles an hour. Any faster and the damn thing'll explode."

Ryan let out an infamous laugh at this, and he looked to Shane, giving him a little, friendly, heartfelt "fuck off".

The more that Shayne thought about it, he realized that he and Shane were similar. They both didn't believe ghosts were real, they were both very awkward people that entertain others for a living, they both dressed like lesbians, they often got themselves into shenanigans that were almost unthinkable to anyone else outside of their particular occupation...

And they both did it all with their best friend, and would do literally anything for him.

* * *

5.

The day finally came. Shayne and Damien had both made their own separate lists of games that they'd recommend to Shane and Ryan. (Shayne's list was almost a full page shorter than Damien's, because he was a fucking wuss and wasn't afraid to admit that he was scared out of his goddamn mind when it came to horror games. Damien, however, literally played games for a living, and as such, had a much stronger repertoire of horror games.)

They had settled on Dead by Daylight, since they could all play together.

Shane and Ryan came early, and brought In-N-Out with them. (Ryan immediately mentioned that the reason they did that was because he knew that it was an inside joke, and both Shayne and Damien were very appreciative of the gesture. Aww, look, he really does care yadda yadda yadda.)

When they finally got into the game, Shayne was the first killer, and he knew absolutely NOTHING about the game, because of course he didn't. He chose the coolest-looking killer (which was obviously The Hag. She was literally a rotting skeleton, that was fucking dope) and tried his best to get used to the mechanics.

"What the hell do the hexes do?" he asked almost constantly, as though he were going to get an answer. Of course, since he was actively trying to kill his friends, they weren't going to give him tips and tricks to do the job.

Naturally, he only managed to grab, of all people, Shane, and kill him. It was an ironic victory.

"YES! TAKE THAT! OH, HELL YEAH," he yelled, the adrenaline rush from defeating someone swelling high in his chest.

Shane turned to look at Shayne and said, "Well played, good sir. I'm actually very impressed. If we were sitting closer, I would give you a handshake."

The moment became sweetened by the looks of encouragement and happiness that Damien and Ryan gave them, and Damien even said, "Dude, I think that's the highest compliment that Legs can give."

Ryan laughed, and for the rest of the day, Shayne felt like he was walking on the proverbial Cloud Nine of successful friendship building. He was even the first to initiate a hug with Damien that day. Life was good and sweet, and he was a very bad player of DBD, but at that point, he didn't care.

It even felt like a compliment when Shane, as the killer (who chose Legion, because they're edgy or something, maybe as a #HotTake on the nature of teenagers in today's world or some other shit like that), hooked him first.

* * *

+1.

Ever since that fateful collaboration, Shayne and Shane had exchanged phone numbers and were texting each other consistently. Getting to actually know Shane and not have to worry about fucking everything up due to the order of words that came out of his big dumb mouth was helpful, and it also taught him some things.

Thing Number One: Shane actually thought that he was funny, and never truly hated him. Even if he had been a little put off by the insensitive comments about his place of work when they had first introduced themselves, he told Shayne that he never hated him for it. It was practically par for the course when he mentioned his job at Buzzfeed. It was so universal that he hadn't really been expecting a different response. (As he put it, "most people aren't too jazzed about the whole business of writing online quizzes and making weird videos, especially when those two things are basically all that your particular company's known for.")

Thing Number Two: Damien and Ryan had actually been talking about how they thought that their fans would like to see interactions between Shane and Shayne. Ryan, having hijacked Shane's phone on a few occasions, would text Shayne back, and he even used, in perfect syntax, "Yeah, you two are like, Chaos Sha(y)nes. Fans would get a kick out of seeing you two together, or at least we thought they would."

Thing Number Three, which wasn't particularly related to Shane Madej becoming Shayne's friend at all, but was still a noteworthy thing to mention: Shayne was starting to realize that he had been touch-averse for a long time, since he didn't really get a lot of that with his family, and Damien was helping him overcome that, particularly during moments where he was high stress. Worrying about how Shane would respond to his attempts at conversation had actually been a help to him, and he was grateful for that, at least. Although he still fucking got anxious when looking back on those snippets of dialogue.

Thing Number Four: Shane was dedicated to making Shayne become a great Dead By Daylight player.

The two of them had started playing online matches with each other, and whenever they were both survivors, Shane would give him tips on how to get through the match without dying (that much). And when he was the killer, Shane would offer to sacrifice himself as a tutorial of sorts to test out the killer's abilities and how to use them.

In fact, they were playing an online match, where Shayne was using The Hag again, and he was starting to get really good at it. Shane, over the voice chat, said, happily, "Great work buddy!" as Shayne scored a kill that wasn't his character.

Damien's voice rang out from the doorway into the meeting room. "Aha, so you two HAVE been playing together!"

Shane, still only being audible through Shayne's headphones, replied, "Is that Damien? Did we get caught actually being buddies? Is he going to smite us?"

"Nah, he's cool."

He walked over to where Shayne was sitting and said, closer to the headset mic, "If you even think about stealing my spot as Shayne's best friend, I will kill you where you stand, Madej."

"Bold of you to assume that I can be killed."

Shayne relayed the message back to Damien, who snorted and then patted Shayne on the shoulder. "Well, I'll let you get back to actually getting good. Just remember, whenever you feel like you're ready to quit, I'm right there in the back of your mind saying-"

"YoU nEeD mOrE tRaInInG. Yeah, yeah, I get it, that's your catchphrase now," Shayne replied, mocking the nasally anime voice that Damien used. "Go be a dingus somewhere else."

Shane let out a low laugh and Shayne returned his focus back to the game at hand. A brief moment of silence came and went before Shane spoke. "You two are really good friends, huh? You remind me of myself and Ryan sometimes."

"Yeah, now that you mention it, I can kinda see it. All of the inside jokes, the constant laughing and wheezing. Guess we really are kind of the same person in some ways."

"Although, even though you claim otherwise, I am the Superior Shane."

Shayne laughed, but didn't dispute that fact. Because that's what you do when you've just recently made a friend.

**Author's Note:**

> feel free to send me requests to write @sunflowershayne on tumblr! or just follow me there for quality memes and posts about how gay i am for damien haas. either works uwu


End file.
